Monday, February 14, 2011

Swim fan

Fishes in the ocean
Fishes in the sea
Do not wait ‘til we’re in the pool
To declare, “Gotta pee!”


Only 4 weeks go to before the Midget can swim on her own…or at least without me in the water with her. That day can’t get here fast enough.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The key to my heart


As with any large city, San Francisco has its share of major intersections, with anywhere from 8 to 12 interweaving lanes.

Not actual intersection. But today it felt like it.

We have one of these only three blocks from our house. We navigate it at least twice daily (without incident) when dropping BMOC off or picking him up from school. Today Midget decided it was *also* the ideal spot to drop our spare house keys out the window as we rolled right on through.

“Mommy, what does this button do?”

“Mmmm…”

“Mommy, I feel the wind!”

“Ugh huh…”

“Bye bye-EEE mista keys!”

Clink. Clink, clink…down the side of the car they go…

“SAMANTHA!” whipping my head around while still trying to navigate the intersection, “Where are the keys?!”

Silence.

“Oh. Mygod. SAM! Where ARE they?!”

Petrified silence.

F@$K!!!

And yet…look here. All is not lost. See what we’ve got back?

keyringonce rednot originally designed to look like a pretzel

Imagine, if you will, me obnoxiously double parking the car on the side of the road. See the looks of bewilderment-mixed-with-fear on my children’s faces as they sit helplessly strapped into the backseat. Sympathize as they sit wondering what has possessed their mother to exit the vehicle and march brazenly into commuter traffic.

Now picture me waving my hands in a frenzied attempt to stop tour buses, MUNI buses and all other motorists who couldn’t give a care about my pedestrian, house key issues. Marvel at how my anger and frustration overwhelmed any sense of logic and reason. (Because—hello?—these are just keys and it would have been a big fat bummer to get sent to the ER in an attempt to retrieve them.)

And be glad that today that wasn’t you (it was me.) Because today being the mother of a 2-not-sure-if-she’ll-make-it-to-3 year old fell just a little short of awesome.*

####
For you wondering why we we cruise around the city with the spare keys: it’s because the Midget already hid our main set; they have been “hiding” since Monday.

And why exactly did she have direct access to the keys or the window controls in the first place: I’ll thank you to shut up with your 20/20 hindsight.