Deep thoughts, brought to you (in part) by FIFA

While it’s far from over, with both the US and English teams knocked out of the World Cup, the intensity has lessened considerably at the House of M. And so now I can sit back and reflect on some things I’ve learned while enjoying the world's most-watched tournament thus far:

1. Despite having soccer on ALL THE TIME at our house, I still don’t understand the rules of the game.
2. The world’s oldest sport needs to catch up with modern-day technology. Listen footballers around the world: instant replay could save us from much unnecessary grief! Was or was not the goal justified? Was there a foul? Was he offsides? Or...in our house: which boy threw the first punch? How did the Sharpie hieroglyphics really get all over the bedroom wall?
3. I should have been handing out yellow and red cards to my kids long ago. Thinking about all the times my offending offspring should have been benched from penalty behavior makes my head swim.
4. From what I know of their international reputation, our 2 year old’s tantrums suggest perhaps a future playing on the Italian national team.
5. And lastly...When you have a baby, why doesn’t the hospital send you home with a vuvuzela along with your prescription for Vicodin? I’m not saying you’d need it right away, but I know it would come in real handy every now and again at our house.