And this is why I can't be bothered with making (new) mom friends...

I have to believe that San Francisco is not the only hotbed for crazy women taking competitive mothering to new heights. You know who I mean: women who are the dysfunctional combination of Head Cheerleader meets Wall Street Tycoon meets Mother Earth. They shun common sense parenting in favor of “techniques” and “philosophies” espoused in every book on child rearing they can get their overzealous hands on.

Often with their bodies, minds and careers in a state of limbo (typically a result of their new role as mom—or even better, stay-at-home-mom) I suppose they have to exert their drive for success somewhere. And so, they live vicariously through their children, passively competing through them and with them. It’s so g*ddamn lame.

One of my fellow mean mom friends shared this video with me. You’ve got to watch; it is so on the money. (If, however, you accidentally found yourself here, but sympathizing with the Turbo Parent I have aforementioned, you might want to log off instead…)

Click Here: Why I Can't Make Mom Friends, Posted by val1107

Thank g*d for the friends I’ve already got. If I had to start over, making new BFFs on the playground, I’d stick my finger in my eye.

Random acts of malice, pt. 5

Let's face it: shit rolls down hill. So when I'm in a bad mood, the kids need to watch out lest they bear the brunt of my wrath.

To make up for today’s maternal malice I bought cookie dough. The plan: children and mother will reconnect over melty, chocolate chip happiness.

Except that in an effort to make myself feel better immediately, I ate most of the cookie dough before it got in the oven. I have enough left for about...let's see...yep: three cookies.

Good thing I’ve only got three kids.