Apples don't fall far from trees

OK, how awesome is it that now I’m going to lay the blame for my bad parenting habits on my parents. Seriously, that is some gratitude for ya. But it is a wise mother who openly accepts that whatever her parents did and said to her, she will unavoidably repeat doing and saying those same things to her children. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Now I want to quickly backpedal a bit. It must be understood that my mom is a GREAT mom. She had the opportunity to stay home and raise me and my sisters, and she did it with gusto. She was actively involved at our schools, in our sports and club activities. Drove us when we had field trips; sometimes hours away for competitions. Threw us birthday parties and hosted innumerable afternoons when our friends just came over to hang out. Ours was that house, and though we enjoyed it, I’m pretty sure my sisters and I just took it all for granted while growing up.

But neither my mom nor my dad take shit from anyone, least of all their kids. My mom was a real hard ass when raising us three, so is it any wonder that I’m crazy military with my kids now? (Ironically, my sisters have somehow avoided falling into this legacy of tough love with their own children. How, I don’t know, but I digress…) With my mom it was—and always has been—all “I love you with all my heart, but you’d better tow the line, because that’s the way we do it in this family.”

So now fast forward to today. It’s only lunchtime and I’ve heard myself use popular family vernacular such as “you are cruisin’ for a bruisin’” and “you want to cry? I’ll give you a reason to cry.” Real nice. Idle threats, but fun to spout none-the-less. And while I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure these are not phrases endorsed by modern parenting authorities.

But also like my mom, I’m trying hard to find those moments when I can take each child aside, resist the urge to throttle them into submissive and acceptable behavior, and instead make sure that they are heard, OK, and feeling generally good about being part of Team M. Because that’s how we do it in this family.