Liar, liar

All siblings fight. And, typically all parents try to stop said fighting. Because I’m an exemplary mother, I too like to step in and try to teach my children how to work through their conflicts and frustration in a constructive way. It usually goes a little something like this:

“Goddammit! What the hell is the matter with you people?”

Very effective for stopping current fights. Less so for modeling positive vocabulary development.

What is interesting is how each child will handle the opportunity to come clean and explain why there is an all-out brawl taking place. BMoC (Big Man on Campus)* is my Honest Abe. He immediately coughs up the details, albeit with a so-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it tone. The Mighty Midget* will also start in with her version of the story, although since she does not speak in intelligible words yet, her story only serves to be more confusing than helpful. Middle Man* is my crafty liar. He’s never at fault. Sometimes he’s not even involved. It doesn’t matter that I’ve caught him with a fistful of someone’s shirt whilst holding up the other arm to get a final blow in.

Today I’d had just about enough. And once again Middle Man dispensed the same sad line with a boredom that annoyed me more than the lie itself.

“What is going on here?”

“She fell down.”

“Really? It looks like you pushed your sister. What really happened?”

“She fell down. All by herself.” His crazy big Pokemon eyes giving nothing away.

“Listen, buddy, if you are going to lie to me, can you at least mix it up and use a little creativity? This repetition of the same unimaginative tale is beneath you. I think you can do better.”

“OK, Mommy.”

Po Bronson would not be impressed.

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*For sake of their privacy, these are the names I'll use going forward for my kids. Should make it harder for them to come after me with accusations of libel later on.